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01 May 2014

happy may day aka the day my brain up and left the building

I was actually going to call this post 'Pimple: 1, Emily: 0', but with the magic of camera filters, you can hardly see the gigantic one that magically appeared by my nose sometime while I was sleeping last night! Modern technology for the win!

I woke up this morning and swear to you that I grew 2 inches. or my normally long shirt just shrank in length, but I'm going to go with the growing two-inches thing because I simply refuse to accept that I've hit that moment in life where you exclusively grow out, not up.

So my brain has pretty much up and left the building for the week. I went to the counter at my regular coffee shop and because I'm there 3-6 times/day, they all know my 'usual' - iced tea with just a splash of lemonade, a whisper, if you will. Arnold Palmer's less intense little brother, or something. Arnie Jr. Anyways, given my brain activity has been basically flat-lined all morning, I thought I'd get my more extreme and less-usual drink, an iced dirty chai (chai tea with an espresso shot). I walk up to the counter, and the nice girl looks at me knowingly, and says, "The usual?" and I just stare at her... seriously! Not blinking or anything! Literally, expressionless and unable to speak for a socially unacceptable and officially awkward amount of time! And suddenly, I forgot where I was, what day it was, what my "usual" even was.

Yeah, I know. Bye bye, brain!

And after a good minute of blinkless staring right into her eyes, I say "Wait, what? What am I doing?" and she's obviously thinking "Okay, Crazy," and eventually I figure out where I am and how to form words, and I drink that dirty chai like I mean it. I think it was the first time I've ever been truly immune to the effects of espresso, because that is caffeine that means business! And I felt nothing!

Is it the weekend yet?

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